Molly's First Birthday

Molly Jane

I have had an awesome 4th pregnancy.  I have tried to just enjoy and love every minute of it because I'm pretty sure it was my last and, for the most part, I did enjoy it.And the things I didn't love towards the end, like the major heartburn, back pain and fatigue, I just tried to remind myself of how amazing pregnancy really is and enjoy sitting in the evenings and feeling the baby move inside me.
I also wasn't overly anxious for this pregnancy to end.  I would wake up after a full nights sleep and know that the baby coming meant that was going to change.  And life itself would be harder for at least a little while.  Also, I kind of feel like not knowing this baby's gender threw me off a little bit.  It's hard to describe but I just felt like it wasn't real.  I had a hard time picturing the baby being here.  And it had me fearing the labor and delivery process a little more than anticipating the excitement of it.  All of these feelings added together made it easy for me to set a goal to not be induced this time and have the patience to go as far past my due date as was possible.  And kind of try and ignore the changes that were coming.
My kids were so funny trying to understand all this baby stuff.  They knew December 4th was my due date.  I told them that meant it was the midwife's guess as to when the baby would come but it is usually not that day.  And I kept telling them it would probably be closer to the 14th because that's the way all my babies are.  But as December 4th came they were still very excited and anxious for the baby to come.  That day I picked them up early from school and we drove to manchester and picked my mom up from the airport.  I am so lucky to have my mom here for so long and we were so excited for her to come.  There is nothing like being with my mom, I can do anything with her here.  And I need to convince her to live next door to me.  So she got here and it was officially okay for the baby to be born at any time.  But life kept going.  The kids still had school.  Another funny thing for kids to understand is time zones and we talk about it a lot, as we call our relatives and things.  The first few days mom didn't wake up until just about when they were leaving for school and they knew it was because she was on "Tucson time". As mom got used to it she wanted to watch me help the kids get ready and pack the kids lunches and things in case the baby comes so one morning she woke up early and got in the shower and Kate excitedly came into my room and said "I guess Grammie is on our time now!"  They loved having her take them to school and loved it even more when she would be into be cafeteria after school to pick them up.  While they were at school, Clara, mom and I enjoyed running errands, cleaning the house, shopping for christmas presents  and going out to lunch.  Hanging out and doing nothing with my mom is basically my favorite thing in the world to do and these days were wonderful.  We also did fun things like the Saturday after we got here she got to see the kids in a swim meet and then we went and cut down our christmas tree with her.  We also went and saw Frozen.  Besides those things we also went to midwife appointments.  On the day after my due date, a Thursday, I went in and they said everything looked good and I could keep on waiting.  We scheduled the next appointment for the next Wednesday, when I was officially 41 weeks.  I first had an ultrasound to check my fluid level and it looked good.  Then I went to the midwife and had a non stress test and everything looked good.  The baby was so active during it...which has kind of been how the entire pregnancy has been!  I kept joking it was a 10 lb baby because it had constant huge movements and kicks.  Then, after 20 minutes on the monitors, they took me back to see the midwife and did a membrane sweep, hoping to start labor.  They also scheduled me for another non stress test on friday and, if nothing was happening still, an induction on Monday.  I went home and did not feel anything.  Friday came and I went for another non stress test and again everything looked good.  She then swept my membranes to try and induce labor for me and we scheduled an induction for the next Monday if nothing happened over the weekend.  But I was really hopeful that we wouldn't make it that long.  I had dropped my mom and the kids off at swim practice before I went to my appointment and afterwards I picked up some pizza, picked them up from the aquatic center, and headed home for dinner.  As we were eating Ryan got homes and said I needed to go into labor because he was ready to go on vacation.  His boss had promised him a week off after the baby was born and he was ready for that to start.  We ate the pizza and then watched the movie Elf and put the kids to bed.  The whole time I was feeling a little funny....kind of some pain down there in that area the midwife had swept but I didn't know if it would turn into labor or if it was just sore.  We went to bed and fell asleep like normal.  About 1:30 I woke up startled when I heard a pop and felt it in my belly.  I kind of jumped up and said "yikes!"  I have never had my water break on its own so I wasn't sure if that was what it was or not.  So I laid back down and waited to see if there was any "water" and then if felt it it was a small amount and I still wasn't sure if it was the real thing or not.  When I got up to head to the bathroom Ryan asked me what was going on and I told him my water might have broken but I wasn't sure.  He promptly went back to sleep.  I downloaded a contraction timing app and then laid back down and tried to sleep.  Shortly after that I started feeling some contractions.  They were 20 minutes apart and then 10 and then eventually they were about 5.  I got up and started getting ready to go, finishing packing my bags and a things and by then I had to stop and hold the side of the bed during contractions.  I called the midwife and because I thought my water had broken she wanted to have me come in although she didn't think I had to rush.  After we got everything packed I went and told mom we were leaving, it was about 4:30.  In the car I wasn't able to get into a comfortable position during contractions so I was feeling quite a bit of pain.  Ryan and I walked up to the birthing pavilion together and the contractions were so intense I had to stop and wait through them.   I had one right when the door opened and all the nurses in the nurses station were looking at me so I think they were convinced I was really in labor and they skipped the triage room and took me straight to a real room.  As soon as I walked in I requested my epidural, I was ready!   I changed into a gown and the resident came to check me and declared me dilated to a 6 and started getting my IV ready and everything so I could have my epidural.  Once we were set I was feeling pretty intense contractions and I just kept looking at Ryan and asking I him to please make someone give me my epidural.  The anesthesia people were taking forever and I was going through some pretty intense contractions and not handling it very well.  I just kept asking for the epidural please!  At one point the midwife came in and got me in a more comfortable position and helped me through 3 contractions that way and that was really nice.  If I ever was going to give birth naturally (which I never ever would do) I would have wanted that midwife there with me.  She was amazing.  But then in walked the anesthesia people.  There were 2 residents and I actually knew one of them from church (which was semi embarrassing) but eventually they did the epidural and I was so happy.  It was the best epidural I have ever had and I spent the rest of this labor and delivery with a big epidural smile on my face.  LOVED that epidural!  So I spent a little time in epidural bliss.  During this time the nurse asked me if I had any guesses on the size of this baby and I told her that when I'm sitting on the couch at night and the baby was moving inside me, the movements were so big and uncomfortable that I swear its a 10 lb baby.  The nurse told me there was no way there was a 10 lb baby in my belly.  She asked me what size my other babies were and when I told her Clara was 8 lb 13 oz she told me she didn't even think this baby was that big.  Quickly after getting the epidural they checked me and I was at a 9 and then soon I was at a 10 and ready to push.  After 3 rounds of pushing, Baby Kissell #4 was born!  The first thing people said was she was a huge baby!  The nurse was shocked and couldn't believe how off she was.  Later when they weighed her we found out she was 9 lb 10 oz!  I guess I was pretty close.  She was a big, healthy, beautiful baby!  We hadn't talked about how to reveal the gender and so Ryan looked at me and quietly said, "Its a girl!" and then quickly said, "wait, do you want me to tell you the gender?" and I said yes and then he more confidently announced, "Its a girl!"  This surprised us both because we had focused more on boy names and I kept thinking it was a boy the entire time.  But they put my beautiful baby girl on my chest and I held her and loved on her and nursed her for a while.  As soon as they handed her to me I thought she looked exactly like Clara but the more I see her the more I see all my kids.  It was such a beautiful, pain free delivery and I loved ever second of it.  My water had broken at 1:30, I arrived at the hospital at 5:00 and she was born at 8:30.  It was lovely.
While all this was happening, mom was at home with the kids while they got up and had breakfast.  I told her that she should just get them ready and then head to the hospital so they could come in shortly after the baby was born.  The timing was perfect and they got there just as they were finished cleaning everything up.  They came in and found out they had a new baby sister and got to see her.  Clara was so excited about this baby!  It was so fun having all my kids together right after the birth and getting to see their reactions.  They even got to help the nurses clean her up.  After a while of visiting, mom took the kids home and Ryan and I stayed the night in the hospital discussing what we were going to name her, getting a little bit of sleep, and watching the snow fall out our window.  The next morning I asked if I could go home that day and they were really great about finishing up everything that needed to get done and getting me out of there.  I seriously felt amazing and I was just really ready to get home and be with my kids.
It had snowed about a foot that night and so Ryan had to go out and clean off the car before he took Molly and I down.  Then we drove home and Ryan had to park at the top of the driveway and go and plow before we could get in.  So we spent about 45 minutes in the car at the top of the driveway watching Ryan move the snow and my kids peeking in the car window at their baby sister.  Finally we made it home!  We had kept the baby name a secret until we got home and we gave the kids lollipops and told them it was a clue to her name.  (They knew that Molly and Nora were the top 2 names so it was an easy guess that Molly rhymed with Lolli-pop) It was a Sunday that we came home from the hospital so we just relaxed at home and enjoyed our new baby.
The next week the kids still had school and Ryan and my mom were awesome at getting their lunches packed and breakfast eaten and getting them off to school on time.  I have no idea how I'm going to do that on my own come January!  That week Mom got to go into Sawyer's classroom and help with their Christmas craft afternoon and on Thursday night everyone but me and the 2 babies went to their Holiday Concert.  On Friday, the last day of school, Kate had a fiesta to end the unit she had on Mexico so Mom and I got to go in for a little bit (with Molly at home with Ryan) to cook some quesadillas and watch her do the Mexican hat dance.  It was a busy week and I was tired but I was so grateful for all the help.
Molly is a big girl with a big appetite and I had a hard time satisfying it until my milk cam in all the way.  She gave us a scare on her 3rd day of life when she didn't poop at all for over 24 hours, which doesn't follow the newborn schedule of pooping.  We decided she just wasn't getting enough milk and we were hoping my milk would come in and all would be well.  Ryan declared her the best baby ever because she never poops but it didn't last and she is now quite regular.  I am the most sore with breastfeeding as I have been with any of my babies but it sure is a special thing to get to do with her and so I am making the best of it.
Molly is such a great addition to our family and we are so glad she is here!  I can't believe I have 4 kids and so many girls!  I might have a lot of eye rolling and drama in my future but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Okay, now for the pictures!

Sawyer turns 3!

After a crazy busy weekend in NYC we turned around and celebrated Sawyer's birthday! Monday morning he woke up and kept reminding us it was his birthday. While I was making birthday pancakes he came downstairs and I asked him if Grammie was awake. He said, "Yes, she sang my song to me!" And then he continued to sing Happy Birthday to himself all day long. When we asked Sawyer what he wanted for his birthday the only thing he said was an orange cake. Orange has all of a sudden become his favorite color, along with blue.

Here is Sawyer with his birthday pancakes. If you look close there is a tear in his eye because he wanted blueberries in it. Don't worry, I made another!

We took him to Panera Bread for lunch. That was more my choice than his but we had already had plenty of McDonald's in New York this weekend! After lunch he was being goofy. He's still working on the 3 fingers thing!
After lunch and some grocery shopping we took advantage of the nice weather and headed to the park, one of Sawyer's favorite activities
Daddy was on his first call shift since we were in Vermont and we thought he was going to be getting home too late for cake and presents so we were going to save it for the next day but we were lucky he got home early. I don't think Sawyer would have been happy without his orange cake! He got a few presents, all Toy Story themed.
And then his orange cake! I whipped this cake up while we were making dinner so it definitely isn't a masterpiece...but its orange and that is all that matters!

Happy Birthday big big big baby boy! I can't believe he's 3!